Everybody Sing Along.

The ultimate desire to really feel like you're a part of something, that you matter. To find a connection. I can't live without doing what I do, so I have to accept the fact that I will suffer for it. I haven't felt this completely lost in years. It's frightening to feel that cold, numbness wash over your body. I don't look different. My soul has abandoned me and left a vacancy in my chest. It must have found a home somewhere else. Left behind is emptiness and a few sparse memories. So yes, I can see why you would pick me to blame. It's easy. I make a great poster girl for fear because I represent what everyone is afraid of; I do and say what I want without any sense of harm. I can see into the future, because I repeat the same mistakes. It's a process really. Slap on a smile, make the world disappear. Eventually the days begin to meld together and you don't even care enough to pretend you noticed.

Comments

[Dirk Sorensby]

Yes all true. But, if you only knew how much worse it gets, how profoundly terrible it is, you wake up from one of the hundreds of these "days melding together," but this time - out of nowhere, you're old. Nobody is honestly, physically attracted to you anymore. Nobody is chasing you for love, sex, or a family. You can see the end, and know there's no-longer much time to push fears back into - no longer possible to convince yourself that there's enough time left to complete the plan, or make it work, or make up for, wake up for, no hope for dreams no more. I had times like yours and they were hard; and without a pause or warning bell, I was suddenly old; if you think these days are hard, wait until you arrive at this hell.